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FIGSTER WROTE:
>Lingerie Bowl at Home!
>Romantic tips for guys.
>by Jim Newton
>

Most guys are a little forgetful when it comes to romance. Let's face it, the male idea of fore-play is watching the Dallas Texas Cheerleaders, and drinking a beer. The only lingerie they think about is the Lingerie Bowl (yes, ladies, more football). That does not mean men aren't romantic. We have romance in our hearts, just most of us are a little unsure of how to go about using it.

A typical play to get the lady in the mood for some hibbidy dibbidy will usually go something like this; light some candles, hand you some flowers, gaze into your eyes, give you a compliment, then have sex. When we wake up, we congratulate ourselves on being such a romantic fellow, and turn on the sci-fi channel to watch a cartoon woman- cyber sex robot- with great pair of knockers bouncing around the screen.

Many ladies are happy to receive that much. Guys, that play may get you to the mat, but, it's a basic play in the playbook. Would you like to give your lady a razzle dazzle play that will have her bragging to her friends about how sweet and romantic you are? In fact, she is likely to talk about this for years to come. It's the main event in the ring, guys. A true professional play. Well, get out your pen and paper guys, I am going to draw this play out for you on a step-by-step process that is certain to swoon any gal.

Step One, Preparation: Call your loved ones mother or sister or best friend and tell them you are planning something special and you need to know the following. What size dress does your significant other wear? Is that considered a small, med, or large? Does she like chocolate covered cherries? Does she like grapes? Strawberries? If you already know this information, BRAVO! You just scored major points. If you do this a week or two ahead of time, you can save a few bucks by doing some of your shopping on-line.

Find a window of opportunity. Planning is the key. You need to plan this day, on a day when you will be home several hours ahead of your mate. If that is not possible, send her away to see her Mom or Sister or best friend for at least 4-5 hours but, make sure you have an exact time she will be home. This is crutial! Timing is everything! Make sure the house is clean, and the kids are out of the way for the night.

Step two, Go Shopping: I know, I know, you'd rather go to the dentist. Relationships are about sacrifice. If you planned ahead, you may already have most of these items and saved yourself a few bucks and some time. You will need the following:

1.) Lingerie- Your choice in lingerie is important. Dental floss on an eyepatch is not going to do it. A great article on how to choose lingerie can be found here. Or you can just ask the sales person for something romantic, that a woman would feel sexy in. You must make her feel beautiful and sexy for this to work. I highly recommend you read the afore mentioned article.

A beautiful romantic gown that looks like this.

Or you can even go with a corset or bustier like this. If you go with this you will also need some sexy hosiery like these.

And a blind fold like this one.

Also, if you really want to go all out... I suggest this costume for yourself. You can even have a little fun and pick out something humorous if you like.

2) The sex gift- Some Lingerie shops carry this stuff, some don't a good on-line source for this stuff can be found here. Thats also a great source for lingerie. I suggest some message oil, preferably flavored, or some body paints also flavored. and this is optional, you have to know your lady will go for it, and you are comfortable with this, try an adult toy. I know this is not for the tame of heart, but it sure can be fun if you have an open mind.

3) Rose Pedals and Flowers- Make sure you pick up plenty of Rose Pedals. And some loose flowers. A great on-line source for your flower needs can be found here.

4) Bath Products- A very specific item that can tip the scale is glow in the dark bubble bath. This stuff is amazing and can really impress your gal. You can find it on-line by clicking the above link to Glow in the dark bubble bath. If you can not find this stuff, pick up some regular bubble bath.

Candles- You already know you need them. Some really great candles can be found here. Or pick some up at the Lingerie shop, or the florist, or wherever you get the bath stuff. You will need many!

5) Food- If you know how to cook, excellent. You just scored major points! Just pick up what you need to cook the meal. Save the final steps of this meal for last. You are going to be very busy before you get to eat, but don't worry, you will have worked up a huge appetite.

If you do not know how to cook, or you don't want to spend the time preparing a meal, thats ok. Stop by her favorite restaurant and pick something up. Remember, we are getting her favorites here, so no bbq wings, unless that's her favorite.

Don't forget the champagne or wine.

Remember the questions we asked earlier? About grapes, strawberries, or chocolate covered cherries? Pick up her favorite.

Shopping is Done.

Step three, The Notes: You have to let her know what's going on, and you have to set the mood here. You can write your own notes or feel free to use these;

“Good Evening my Lady,
Tonight is all about you. If you follow my instructions you are in for a night of romance like you have never experienced before in your life. Why? Because my love for you is deep, and my passion for you grows each and every day. Because we spend too much time in our day to day life, and not enough time on us. Allow me to express my love for you, follow my instructions to the letter.

Please leave the rammstein music playing, leave the lights off, and follow the rose pedals to the next note.”

Now write the 2nd note:

“ At this point my love, I ask you to remove some clothing- don't worry, tonight is just the two of and I am not allowed to see you as of yet. Our passion together will be forever remembered. Please follow the rose pedals to the next note.”

Now write the 3rd note:

“Are you ready my love? Tonight I plan to express my love in a way that words would never do.
Are you ready my love? Tonight our passion will reach heights we have only dreamed of.
Are you ready my love? Please remove the remainder of your clothing and follow the rose pedals into the bathroom. And read the last note.”

Now write the 4th and final note:

“Your bath is drawn, I will be in to serve you momentarily. Please put on the blind fold and slide into the bath. Make yourself comfortable and just relax”

Notes Done.

Step four, the set-up: 30 to 40 minutes before she is due to arrive. You have to put everything into place. Put the first note somewhere close to where she will enter the house and find it quickly. Spread some of the rose pedals out into a trail leading about one third of the way to the bathroom and place the 2nd note. Lay out more rose pedals to about two thirds of the way to the master bath and place the third note. And another trail of rose pedals leading to the final note in the bath.

Set a large candle at each note. Do not light yet.

Spread some rose pedals out on the bed. Place several candles around bedroom.

Set the love toys of choice out on the bed.

Place the blindfold and the lingerie in the bathroom. I suggest placing the blind fold on the last note. And hanging the lingerie on the back of the bathroom door.

Set several candles about the bathroom as close to the tub as possible without catching any towels on fire. Do not light yet.

Pick out some soft romantic music. Your choice. I can suggest Barry White, Luther Vandross, or something along that line. Turn it on. Hopefully you have a CD player and can set it up to loop two or three CD's You don't want the music to stop in the middle of this if you can help it.

Ensure that meal is going to stay hot, or is at the point where it can be heated or finished in 5 minutes or less.

If you elected to go with a costume of your own, put it on.

10 minutes before her arrival, (you may want to verify this if possible, call her on cell phone, or find out from wherever she was) light the candles to get the aroma in the air.

Start the tub. If you are using the suggested glow in the dark bubble bath, leave the lights on until she pulls in the drive. Make sure you run the water on the VERY hot side so that it will be at a nice temperature when she climbs in.

Arrange the snacks ( Strawberries, grapes, or what ever you chose) onto a platter with two glasses of the wine or champagne. Do NOT arrange them into the shape of a football.

When she pulls into the driveway. Take platter and get out of site (don't spill the drinks). Turn off lights on the way including bathroom light (one light at entrance is allowed to be on). Hide in a closet, a spare room, or something. Do not answer her if she calls for you.

Step Five, Action: When she has had a chance to get into the tub and settle in, it is time for you to put the play into action. Walk in with the tray and say something like “ Madam, I have a snack and a drink for you.” give her the drink, and HAND feed her the snack of choice. Offer to wash her back, use an oversized sponge, wash her back and allow yourself to rome freely washing the rest of her body. Make sure you mention how sexy she is.

DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT engage in sex at this time! Build the atmosphere up. No matter how hot she gets, or you get, do not start sex yet !!!! We don't want to settle for a field goal, we want the game winning touch down. You may use your mouth, and hands to tease her as much as you want. Keep feeding her the snacks and allowing her to drink.
She may want to remove the blindfold, thats ok, best if she keeps it on at this point if possible.

Before the water turns cold, and before you get to the point where you can no longer resist her. Stand up and say something like:

“ You may now dry off ( hopefully you"

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